If Van Gogh Did It?

 It feels like years but it's only been  months, I say "Only!" It's tough to adapt and it's taken some time to literally retrain to paint again after my stroke. The confirmation of test results and diagnosis confirmed it was a Central Retinal Artery Occlusion, resulting in permanent sight loss to my right eye.

 I'm now beginning to experience some "Creative Flow" and this is really important to an artist. I can sense how a painting will turn out before I even apply paint to the canvas! There's an insight, a mood and my state of mind! When both the creativeness and enthusiasm are in abundance it's so much enjoyable being proactive. A lot of artists experience emotional attachment, they just can't let go! I feel this too, it isn't easy to let go of a painting that has taken several months to create, even longer in some cases.

 I have to admit, it's been difficult for both myself and my partner. The trauma that my partner and myself have endured over the last 8 months have knocked us for six, but we are getting there! On a personal note, I've found it difficult to adapt to painting with vision loss, even to concentrate. Hopefully, now everything has settled a little, I will find the time to complete some long standing originals and channel that creative flow I thought I'd lost.

 I know people are concerned and I get asked, "How are you coping?" My response today, "Not too bad!" Although last year was really difficult and scary. The pouring water into a glass exercise maybe a small task to most people, but it was quite a challenge for me. Perspective is the biggest challenge I face and losing the ability to see 3 dimensional will be a struggle in creating those dramatic and atmospheric scenes that i'm renowned for.

 Having to compensate does sap my energy and it's taking me a lot longer to add any detail to my paintings, but I will get there with a bit of practice! Creating every day was not a problem, I produced artwork with ease, even my enthusiasm was in full flow. I never gave it a thought about the process of the way I painted, it just came naturally.

 Some people have been waiting for new collections and I know it's frustrating for them, trust me, it's frustrating for me too! Unable to create has been difficult, just sitting at the easel for hours on end and contemplating the challenges ahead. There's been a lot of hesitant moments and the canvas hasn't seen any paint in a while. Sure I've dabbled a little, picked up a paintbrush trying to judge the distance from the tip of the brush to the canvas. There were times the frustration turned to anger, not directed at anyone but myself.

 I have now learned to accept the setback, taken it on the chin and told myself "If Van Gogh did it with one ear, I can do it with one eye!"



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